Life of a Grihastha (House Holder) is no less tougher than a Sanyasi( Renounced Person.) Once Narada Muni asked Lord Vishnu whom you consider your greatest devotee.. Lord said millions of Grihastha. When Narada Muni was surprised and Lord gave him a simple test. He asked Sage to circumvent Vaikuntha once with a glass full of water with a condition that not a single drop should spill..The sage returned and declared he has completed , then Lord asked him " Did you remember me once?.." The sage realised the reason. The Grihasthi do all duties and despite of that they remember Lord.. So now an important question comes what we want to be Grihamedhi or Grihastha.
The same knowledge we see Narad Muni delivering to King Yudhisthira when he was coronated as Empire. Now we are trying to discuss who is true Grihastha and how he remains calm in all situation.
Srimad Bhagavatam 7.9.45 very clearly says there are two types of House Holders Grihastha and Griha Medhi. The Griha Medhi are those house holders who perform all household activities for sense gratification either for him or for his family/community/country... for a Grihamedhi he, his wife,children etc are everything .He runs from pillar to post to earn livelihood ,arrange food,fight for diseases,save for old age and repent when some one dies..but while doing all of these they are always fearful of losing something,untimely death, ailing health,not getting attention,not getting praise,deeply disturbed with sex desire and also worried about future.
Grishasthas also do all these activities for maintaining their family but for them the divine couple Radha-Krishna is in centre. And they serve them first,do everything for Their satisfaction,thanks Them for all possession he has and completely take Lord's shelter and never bother for material distress,never worry for tomorrow. He knows that by serving Lord and taking help of His mercy he will be able to maintain family/community/society/country well at ease. He thus obtain God's Grace to manage his daily routine.
In Bhagavad Gita 2.14 Lord says
mātrā-sparśās tu kaunteya
śītoṣṇa-sukha-duḥkha-dāḥ
āgamāpāyino ’nityās
tāṁs titikṣasva bhārata
O son of Kuntī, the nonpermanent appearance of happiness and distress, and their disappearance in due course, are like the appearance and disappearance of winter and summer seasons. They arise from sense perception, O scion of Bharata, and one must learn to tolerate them without being disturbed.
There are three kind of distress in the above verse.. Winter & Summer is sensed by our body,Sukh-Dukh( Joy and Sorrow) is sensed by our mind and Man-Apaman( Praise and Insult) is faced by our False Ego.. While the bodily distress is still tolerable but the distress caused by False Ego is very difficult to handle.. and we continue to suffer with all such.. and it is a vicious cycle
Lord is asking us to tolerate all of these : because either way they are temporary and we are experiencing them for our own past work ..so even if we concentrate more on them they are not going to go away. Instead let us welcome them as Krishna's blessings. as all of them will enrich us with a new wisdom which will empower our intelligence > Krishna is not responsible for these experiences but definitely these are within His big plan.
In daily life we become angry with some one who causes us pain but have we ever thought that the messenger who brings a letter is he responsible for the content of the letter? Similarly the person who is causing distress to us is just a media and the distress is sanctioned by Krishna who is our eternal father and He exactly knows why we are here and what lesson we need to learn.. If we understand this will we be ever angry with the messenger?
see this video :
So a Grihamedhi person will use ears to hear Bollywood songs,eyes to see a sensational movie and tongue to taste palatable food and genitals to enjoy sex impulse. He will not mind if he is entitled to enjoy them, whether they had paid price to do so.. or where is the end. Because all these enjoyments are very temporary and they will never fulfil the lust/wish.. it will keep us greedy for more.
Whereas a Grihastha will hear Krishna Katha,Eat only Krishna Prasad,See only God's presence in everything,use genitals only for begetting Krishna Conscious life, use his mind to think of Krishna...use his hand ,feet every organ to God's service. For this whatever he will earn he will thank Krishna for the same ,after preparing meal will offer to Krishna,ensure all others in his neighbourhood is not hungry and then take only that much which is necessary
In Sri Upadesamrta, Srila Rupa Goswami has used a word called "Atyahara" which means to eat more than necessary or save money more than required.
Then He has used a word "Pryasa" Which is over endeavouring to earn material objects/mundane items/fames etc
These habits are typical for Grihamedhi and they still will think that I need to save so that if I die , atleast my grandson should be safe.....
Take an example narrated by Srila Prabhupada: if a bag full of rice is left in a crossing, a bird will come and will eat little and fly away,a cow will come and will little more but a man comes he will take away the entire bag..
So why we turn to be a Grihamedhi.. because our mind is set on us and we wish to be all important without even considering that the natural resources given by Krsna is for all. We never thing that the money I have earned is actually His and He has allowed me to use only for a short span of time.. so we should use it for His service. A Grihastha will consume only that much which is necessary for him and rest he will use in Krsna's Service.
In this context Acharyas say Lord does not want our money/our service but we need to serve Him for our own purification,for our own spiritual advancement
So when we become a true Grihastha and have full faith in Him, we have no reason to worry and hence our mind is content as ,always as we see God's hand in every thing... so we become calm,stable.
Griha Medhi will be attached to all material possession and will waste time in discussing subjects which are no where near Krsna.. so they get sinful reaction of every action they take. Whereas Grihastha will remain detached would submit everything in the lotus feet of Krsna and will neither claim credit nor will repent for any setback..
Remember both Duryodhan and Arjun were men of passion but Arjun kept Krsna in his Life and Duryodhan Narayani Sena.. thus shows the Grihamedhi tendency of Duryodhan and Grihastha quality of Arjun
Only by His Grace we can choose the right path to become self content.
Hare Krishna
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